Microwave Massacre is a 1979 black comedy horror film directed by Wayne Berwick, and the cast includes Jackie Vernon, Loren Schein, Al Troupe, Claire Ginsberg, Anna Marlowe, Ed Thomas and Lou Ann Webber.
A man kills his wife in a drunken rage, and disposes of her body by cooking and eating it which gives him a taste for human flesh
In the film, we have a fed up guy named Donald, played by Jackie Vernon, he works construction, and all his buddies bring normal lunches to eat at work, but his wife May fancies herself some kind of fancy chef, so instead of a ham and cheese, she packs him whole crabs shoved between two slices of bread, which looks more like a torture device than a sandwich.
May also spends her time yelling at Donald , making him eat her gourmet meals, which she lovingly nukes in their giant, 1970s-sized microwave, because back then, apparently, microwaves were the size of small cars.
Donald, naturally, hates every second of this, so he drinks and stays out late, but eventually, he has to go home and every night, May is there waiting for him with another microwaved disaster, and that's when Donald goes a bit crazy, shall we say.
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| The original DVD cover for Microwave Massacre. |
Now, when most people hit their breaking point, they yell, maybe punch a hole in the wall, but not Donald, and this dude just straight-up kills his wife, and the next morning, he finds her stuffed inside the microwave.
Now, most people at this point would panic, maybe call the cops, maybe run, but Donald is a special breed, as he decides the best solution is to cut her up, wrap the pieces in foil, and chuck them in the garage fridge like she’s last night’s leftovers, and eventually, Donald forgets which foil-wrapped packages are actual food and which ones are, well… his wife.
So, naturally, he accidentally eats a piece of her, and instead of throwing up like a normal person, he decides, "You know what? This is actually pretty good!"
And just like that, he’s a cannibal.
But it doesn’t stop there, oh no.
He starts bringing his microwaved May-meat to work and sharing it with the lads, and they love it, as they obviously have no idea they’re eating his wife, but they’re all raving about how great it tastes, so now Donald has a new problem. he’s out of wife, so what does he do?
Well, he starts killing prostitutes to keep the meat supply going, and that’s the whole movie really, and it’s not like there’s any tension or suspense either, it's just a whole load of nothing.
Jackie Vernon goes from whipped husband to serial killer without flinching, and he doesn’t act so much as exist in front of the camera, and then we have the supporting cast who look like they wandered onto the set because someone promised them free beer.
It feels like they just turned the camera on and hoped something funny would happen, and it would just work.
The film ended up going straight to video, as many low budget offerings at the time did, and as bad as it is, I had to watch it as it has a cult like status in the so bad you have to watch it kinda way, and it certainly lived up to that billing.
Do I regret watching it? Hell no, I didn't like anything about it but I am still glad I watched it to tick it off my list.
If you’re into watching truly awful movies, and have an appreciation for these old school low budget cheesy offerings, you might get a laugh out of this one.
But I wouldn't expect it to be in the so bad it’s good way, as the film is just bad, and the film takes pride in being known as one of the worst made horror movies of all time, but I still won't ever regret watching Microwave Massacre.
[Microwave Massacre on IMDB] [Where To Watch Microwave Massacre]
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